Learning to Ski Transformed My Mind-Body Connection and Supported Healing from Trauma

Learning to Ski in my 40s has changed my perspective on how I have healed the trauma in my body. When you have experienced trauma, especially as a child, you live your life being outside of your body. Disassociating is your "superpower" and that can cause a lot of challenges into adulthood. In general, I have never been great at sports. For most of my life, I never felt super aware or connected with my physical body, quite the opposite and it was frustrating until I learned why (my PTSD diagnosis). Fast forward to age 41 and I decided I wanted my son and daughter to learn how to ski—and I wanted to learn too. Was I scared I would break a leg? Yup, all my life I have had that fear about skiing 😅 I was in Lake Tahoe in my 20s once, stayed with my bestie who was a ski instructor, and I STILL refused to learn!

I did not realize this goal was going to change my mind -body connection as much as it did. Here’s what I learned:

My kids taught me how brave I am: I've taken so many “risks” because of them, like starting Cielo Consulting or like I said, learning to ski late in life because I want to be near them and make many memories with them as a supportive mother. If my kids were going to learn to ski, so was I! 

Falling is not FAILING: I fell a lot in the beginning of learning how to ski. My kids were so natural at it, they did not fall as often, but when we did, we would stop, make sure we were okay/nothing broke and say, “Okay, what happened to make is fall, let’s evaluate.” And then we’d say, “Now, let’s get back on the skis.”  Even after many lessons and two years later, I still have a fall at least once a day on the mountain, and it’s okay. I get back up and keep going.

 Investing in myself feels so good: For a while I felt guilty about getting lessons each time we went to the mountain, but I realized, my skill level was different from my family and that is okay. The investment in the lessons also kept me safe. Safety is so important for survivors of abuse. My most recent lesson was in Killington, VT, and this past February was the best lesson yet! The instructor was female--all had been males before, and she taught me in a different style. Something finally clicked in the way that she described how my body needed to move in the ski boot, and then I followed her slowly down the mountain in a way that no one had ever done for me before. It was amazing. I felt my body move more in-tune with the boot, the skis and the snow. Truly magical.

Skiing taught me how to help my body do what I wanted it to do, and it felt empowering. Am I a beginner still? Yes, but a beginner who knows how to take control of her skis to navigate down the mountain slowly and with more precision. I am so grateful for allowing myself the space and time to do this, especially with my kids.

Keep healing,

Nubia